


From the Dark

by Captains_Orders



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post Movie, Reflection, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 13:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5628982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captains_Orders/pseuds/Captains_Orders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leia and Finn bond after the events of TFA</p>
            </blockquote>





	From the Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Primarybufferpanel (ArwenLune)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLune/gifts).



> primarybufferpanel came up with an amazing fic concept on tumblr-
> 
> First his bedside is just a nice quiet place where nobody will disturb her. But then he wakes, and he’s disoriented and so damn earnest it aches.  
> So Leia, mourning the son who had every opportunity to be Good and yet chose to be Bad, finds herself bonding with the young man who didn’t have any opportunity at all and yet chose to be Good.  
> And of course because I'm an angsty bastard I couldn't help but write a small quick something...  
> More angst then bonding woops, I can't seem to help it.  
> This is my first step out of Mad Max since I started really writing fic, so I'm really unsure of how this came out as far as characterization goes, but hey its good to step out of the comfort zone right?  
> Unbetad

There’s not much she can do after Rey’s departure, not much anyone can do but wait for the next strike. If there’s anything she’s learned it’s that evil is not so easily vanquished. The First Order is still out there, he is still out there, regrouping, plotting, planning something bigger, and they can do little more than wait. Leia has grown tired of waiting. A celebration is taking place, she can hear it faintly, but she has nothing to celebrate. The Resistance won a great victory. General Organa won a great victory. But Leia… Leia only tastes defeat, bitter and harsh on her tongue like bile and heart sick with more grief than she’s ever known. 

Oh how she misses Luke, needs him with her now more than ever. In truth she would resent his absence if she didn’t understand it completely. They had all dealt with Ben’s loss differently, left or withdrawn in their own way. Luke had felt responsible for everything that happened, and she had no doubt he would blame himself for Han as well. She knows he felt what she did, the moment Ben killed his father, the moment the dark snuffed out what could have been the last of his once radiant light. The force does not call to her like it does her brother, but she feels it always, and she’d felt that terrible moment to her core. All the pain and anger, the horrific disturbance as her son fell deeper into the dark. The far too empty Falcon and Rey’s grief had been the final, brutal confirmation. She hopes Rey finds Luke and can bring him home, she’s never felt so alone.

It’s quiet here, a blessing and a curse, but it’s good to be far from people now. She cannot bare the looks they give her. The boy lies still and peaceful, breathing soft puffs into the air, a faint sound in time with the monitoring equipment. He looks so young, must be so young, the age of a boy she once knew, and it breaks her heart. She doesn’t know why she’s here when her quarters offer their own familiar privacy, but something inside her keeps her there in the chair beside Finn’s bed. Maybe it’s so he won’t wake up alone, but that’s an unselfish thought for how she’s feeling. 

A few days pass with the same routine, she fulfills her duties as general, ignoring the near palpable atmosphere of sympathy with everything she has, and finds herself sitting at Finn’s bedside in her spare time, relishing the somewhat solace she finds there. Her bones ache, they never used to, but age doesn’t seem to have done her many favors. Maybe it’s the chair. At least she can say it’s the chair. 

Then finally Finn wakes, the monitors alert her with their slight shift in pitch, and then he’s up.

“Rey!” He shouts while trying to sit and immediately stills with a yelp, wincing against the pain. The wounds have mostly healed, but the pain will linger for far longer. Luke would wince often when he thought no one could see, the burning flare of Vader’s lightsaber lingered like the phantom ache of his lost hand. 

“Easy does it.” She says, too little too late. Not that he’s listening.

“Rey? Is Rey okay? Where is she?” Hardly able to move and he’s already more concerned with his friend.

“She’s fine, went off to find Luke. Now lie still or you’ll make it worse.” He lets out what she assumes is a relieved sigh, relaxing back as she said. 

“What happened? Last thing I remember…” He trails off like he’s hesitant to finish, but it doesn’t matter, she can put the pieces together. Lightsaber wounds are unmistakable as it is, and Rey had frantically explained what had happened as quickly and simply as she could. He tried to fight Kylo Ren (that’s what she must call him now) to protect Rey. Brave, stupid, but brave, something she’d seen plenty of so many years ago. She keeps her reply short; she can’t go into the details now, not when it’s all still so fresh and raw.

“Rey flew you back on the Falcon before we blew the base.” 

“We won?!” A bitter response lodges itself in her throat so she simply nods and Finn smiles so wide it was worth it. “That’s amazing!” His eyes close, finally seeming to relax. “I can’t believe it.” Neither can she.

“Don’t be too surprised, the Rebellion still has some fight left.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” He grins. 

“You know you remind me of him.”

“Your son?” He says it with such fear and hesitancy that it breaks her heart all over again, but it helps that he’s wrong.

“No. Han, when we were young.”

“Really?” A sad smile creeps onto her face before she can stop it, he just sounds so… so amazed. She realizes in that moment that the boy holds more care in respect for Han, a man he hardly knew, than his own son did in the end. Oh how she aches, aches that this boy, a stormtrooper turned rebel, is so good. And Ben, her once sweet little Ben, who would tug on Han’s sleeve until he would swing him onto his shoulders and pretend to be a ship just to hear his son laugh, did everything he could to shroud himself in the dark. Water wells in her eyes and she blinks it away quickly before Finn can see, her grief has not claimed her, and she has no intention of letting it. 

“Yes.” She sighs out perhaps a bit too wistfully pained, because even without looking at her he somehow knows.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I hear enough of that. There’s nothing you could have done.”

“Sorry- I mean yes General Organa… ma’am.” She can’t help it, she lets out a laugh, and it helps to lighten her heavy heart.

“You’re fine, Finn. You’re a good man, the resistance is lucky to have you.” She stands, the ache in her bones not so bad today, and strides to his bedside, placing what she hopes is a comforting hand on his shoulder. “They’ll be in soon to check you. Come see me when they release you, you’ll need an assignment. You’re a rebel now.” Finn beams like she’s given him the greatest gift in the world. To him perhaps she has, and that all that matters.

“Yes General.” He says with a grin, she can almost feel his excitement. “I’ll make you proud.”

It stops her at the door, metal cold against her palm, those four words said a lifetime ago by a different boy. Leia’s pride had turned to grief and ashes the last time she had been promised that, but this time is different, she can feel it.


End file.
